


Full of Wonder

by faceslikebirds (bluedreaming), fragment11 (bluedreaming), hanahakidreams (bluedreaming), kaithartic (bluedreaming), leftimpromptu (bluedreaming)



Category: EXO (Band), SM the Ballad, Super Junior-M, f(x)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 03:03:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3794257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedreaming/pseuds/faceslikebirds, https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedreaming/pseuds/fragment11, https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedreaming/pseuds/hanahakidreams, https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedreaming/pseuds/kaithartic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedreaming/pseuds/leftimpromptu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>A child is like a series of miracles, even when it's just a speck in its parents' eyes.</i>
</p><p>Sehun and Yixing have a baby. His name is Zitao.<br/>This is a series of glimpses into a story about a family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. to my heartbeat sound

“I’ll even ride you if you ask nicely enough.” Sehun is looking at Yixing with his bottom lip sticking out, the face of a five year old and entirely inappropriate for a 20 year old guy bargaining for his boyfriend's dick, but Yixing can already feel himself melting.

"You mean you won't make me do all the work for a change?" he teases, leaning on Sehun's shoulder as they brave the chilly spring wind on their way to Baskin Robbins for some ice cream because Sehun is "desparate" — Yixing shakes his head in disbelief at his boyfriend but makes sure to wrap him up extra warmly in scarves and a thick winter coat despite protests that "it's almost April!"

"Hey I'm pregnant I deserve to be spoiled," Sehun sniffs, raising his chin in pretend scorn and turning away — just then his toe catches on a buckled section of sidewalk and he stumbles, almost fallling onto the icy ground, but Yixing still has his dancer's reflexes and darts forward, heart racing, to catch Sehun before he can fall.

"Be careful!" he says in alarm, standing his taller boyfriend upright and holding onto his arm. Sehun isn't even alarmed.

"I know you'll always catch me," he says, and the complete confidence in his voice puts happy butterflies into Yixing's stomach.

"Of course I will," he murmurs, hugging Sehun close, "but I'd rather you didn't fall in the first place."

Sehun giggles, leaning down to give Yixing a soft kiss with his sweet mouth, and the peck turns into something deeper, Yixing saying with his mouth what he didn't say out loud, _You scared me when you tripped and I felt like I was falling, please let me take care of you forever._  Sehun doesn't reply, but the happy tears budding in his eyes are answer enough.

"I love you so so much," Yixing says, pulling Sehun down for a hug. He's only three months along, hardly noticable, but Yixing can feel the baby's presence all the same. _I promise to take the best care of you and your dad, okay?_ Sehun nuzzles into the wool of his coat before pulling away reluctantly.

"I still want ice cream," he pouts, pulling Yixing along by the hand. Yixing jogs a few steps to keep in step. "And your dick," Sehun whispers into his ear. Yixing rolls his eyes but only wraps an arm around his boyfriend. _Anything for you._


	2. inner comfort of you

"All clean now.” Yixing tosses the washcloth in the laundry hamper and turns to smile at his boyfriend, but Sehun's eyes are still watering as he sits, curled up on the carpet.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, tears rolling down his face again to trickle off his chin and wet the fabric of his pajamas. Yixing's heart aches, as he thinks back to the beginning of the pregnancy, when Sehun was so cheerful, always hinting at sex or complaining he was hungry. Now, eight months and two weeks along, stomach swollen, the veins are sticking out on the backs on his hands, tracing along his arms.

"I love you," Yixing says, instead of trying to explain for the hundredth time that he doesn't mind cleaning up when Sehun vomits on the floor, or drops a glass because his hands are shaking, or can't get out of bed. _I love you so so much and I wish I could make everything better._

Instead, he gathers Sehun into his arms and carries him to bed. He's too light in his arms, maybe they should go to the doctor again. Yixing is worried that Sehun isn't keeping enough down.

"I want everything to be over," Sehun whispers into Yixing's chest, clinging even though he's already being tucked into bed. Yixing can feel the corners of his own eyes budding with tears, but he blinks them back.

"We're almost there," he murmurs soothingly instead, pressing a gentle kiss to Sehun's temple. "I'll go get some electrolytes, okay?"

"No, stay," Sehun whispers, fingers pulling at Yixing's shirt. Yixing's heart breaks a little as he pries them softly off the fabric.

"I'll be right back," he says instead, and runs on bare feet to the kitchen, skin over wood whispering, returning just as quickly to the bedroom with a bottle of blue liquid in hand. Eyeing it, Sehun makes a face.

"I hate that stuff," he complains, and Yixing is relieved to hear a little vehemence back in his voice. 

"If not, we have to go to the hospital so you can get an I.V.," he reminds Sehun. Sehun makes a face.

"You know I hate it there," he groans, and reaches for the bottle.

Yixing climbs into bed and wraps his arm around Sehun's shoulder, snuggling him under his arm even if Sehun is taller.

"It'll all be over soon," he says, reaching his other hand over to let the fingers rest ever so lightly, almost hovering, on the swollen ripeness of Sehun's belly. Sehun winces, slightly.

"Are you alright?" Yixing asks, and he can't keep the faint undertone of worry out of his voice, but Sehun only smiles, looking over into Yixing's eyes. It's his first smile all day.

"The baby," he says, taking Yixing's hand and pressing it gently to the side of his stomach. There's nothing, for a moment, and then a light kick — Sehun winces again, but his smile is even bigger. "He says he's happy to be here."

Yixing can't help but let the feelings drip out of his eyes this time, it's such a relief to see Sehun smiling after everything.

"I'm so happy you're here too," he whispers into the soft skin of Sehun's neck. Sehun giggles as the air tickles his skin, and it sounds like a miracle.


	3. needing stitches

"Why don't you join us?" The doctor holds the door open, Yixing is standing, ready in his green surgical cap and paper gown over his clothes, _of course I'm coming._ He's worried about Sehun; everything seems to be okay but he can't get the picture of Sehun's swollen belly almost lifting up with contractions, the pain flickering over his face, out of his head.

It looked awful.

He's lying on the operating table now, arms spread and strapped loosely to some kind of thing — Yixing doesn't understand but it doesn't seem important at the moment. He rushes forward, wraps his fingers around Sehun's hand.

"Are you okay?"

Sehun nods, smiles weakly. "We're really doing this, aren't we?" he asks, and pauses, waiting for an answer.The oxygen tube taped across his face, feeding oxygen directly to his airway, makes Yixing feel uncomfortable. It's scarier than he'd thought it would be.

"Yes we are," Yixing says, squeezing his hand reassuringly and ignoring the anxiety twisting through his own stomach. There's still a furrowed line between Sehun's eyes; Yixing knows that he shouldn't be in pain right now and yet he doesn't like seeing it there. He's not sure if he's allowed, but he leans down and presses a soft kiss to Sehun's forehead anyway. No one's looking; there's a green curtain hanging over Sehun's chest, splitting his body in half, and all the activity seems to be on the other side, besides the anaesthetist, who gives Yixing a reassuring grin. 

_Thanks._

After a while Sehun starts to get bored lying there, thanks to the anaesthetist he's probably feeling the best he's felt in the last month at least and it's starting to show.

"Yixing," he asks, looking up with large eyes. His face is still too thin, the cheekbones a little too sharp for Yixing's tastes. He can't say no. "I'm curious, you should tell me what's going on."

Yixing glances over at the anaesthetist who nods reassuringly. Yixing stands up from the stool and peeks around the corner.

Blood everywhere. He blinks.

Not really, everything seems to be under control, the suctioning assistant suctioning and the doctor pulling, small limbs emerging from what seems to be the abdominal wall. Yixing can't remember, it's been a while since high school biology and it was never practical anatomy.

"How was it?" Sehun asks, as Yixing sits back down on the stool, slightly harder than he'd intended because his knees are a little wobbly.

"It was interesting," Yixing says. "I think I'll wait here." Sehun is just getting ready to pout at him or do something else equally disastrous when they hear a shrill warbling cry, and Sehun's fingers tighten so hard around Yixing's that he's sure the circulation has been cut off.

"Is that him?" Sehun breaths, his voice sounds so . . . anxious, awed and Yixing feels a lump forming in his throat. It takes a moment for them to clean the baby and then the nurse comes around with a small bundle, black hair peeking out of the mint-coloured blanket. Sehun's arms are still fastened to the bar things but they unhook the one without the IV so that he can reach over and touch the tiny face.

"My baby," Sehun whispers, and it sounds like a prayer.

After a minute the nurse reaches for the baby, he has to go to the NICU apparently, and Yixing doesn't want to let him out of his sight but they're still working on Sehun, because it seems to take more time to put people together than take them apart. Sehun is tired, now, his face is drawn and Yixing keeps rubbing his hand between his fingers as the busy action behind the curtain continues.

"Yixing," Sehun says quietly, staring at the sheet.

"Yes?" Yixing replies, ducking his head down a bit so that he can hear better.

"Do you think I'll be an okay dad?" Sehun sounds so worried, somehow, and Yixing wants to bundle him into his arms and tell him it will be okay, he'll be perfect, they'll be the best parents ever, but he can't; Sehun is still on the table and they're still putting him together again.

"You're perfect," Yixing murmurs into his ear instead. Sehun smiles, eyelashes fluttering softly against his cheek.

"You're even better," he whispers. "Thank you for being here with me." Yixing can't help the tear that slips out of his eye to roll down his cheek. _I love you so much._

"I wouldn't be anywhere else."


	4. I see your eyes

Shoulders are very interesting things. Sehun has kind of always ignored their existence, just another part of the body, maybe somewhere to sling a backpack or for Yixing to rest his head on or maybe run his tongue along as a prelude to other, more interesting places. But now that he has a baby, he finds himself thinking about shoulders a lot.

He looks at Zitao's head on his shoulder, silky black hair against the white blanket, and feels the gentle weight resting against his skin and bones as the baby sleeps. His long lashes over velvety cheeks flutter slightly; Sehun doesn't know whether he wants Tao to stay sleeping, his small heart beating in a delicate percussion against Sehun's chest, or wake up and open his gorgeous little eyes, such a beautiful shade of coffee brown.

Sehun thinks about a lot of things, in between waking up to feed Tao, walking around with him because he doesn't like to be laid down to sleep in his bassinet, dragging himself out of bed to check on the tiny wailing cries. Standing in the window, Tao on his shoulder, he lets his hand drift over his stomach; it feels so strange, somehow, to be small again. He misses it; not the swollen ankles or the nausea or the feeling of dragging around a heavy weight, but the stirring of life inside him was a glorious thing. Running his fingers over the light fabric of his shirt, he can feel the slightly raised edge of his scar, a permanent reminder of the time when Tao was inside him. He finds he likes it.

There's the sound of the keycode buttons being pressed, then the door opening and closing as softly as possible, but the wind is tricky and Sehun can hear Yixing scolding under his breath as the door handle slips out of his hands and the door slams shut with a loud bang. Tao stirs on his shoulder, scrunching up his eyes before waving his small fists lightly and opening his tiny pink mouth in an annoyed cry.

"I'm sorry," Yixing mouths, coming around the corner, arms full of groceries. He sets them down on the counter and walks forward to peck Sehun on the cheeks, letting himself lean against him for a moment before he looks down at little Tao, a long finger gently stroking his cheek. "Daddy is sorry for waking you up, little guy." Tao's eyes don't quite focus, but he looks around, he can recognize Yixing's voice.

"It's okay," Sehun murmurs, leading down to rest his head against Yixing's shoulder. His skin is warm from being outside, the fabric of his shirt still smells like summer. Resting between them, snug in a happy hug, Tao's shrill cries quieten and his delicate eyelids droop once more. Soon he's breathing quietly into Sehun's shoulder.

"Everything okay while I was out?" Yixing asks. He always asks, even if it was just a short drive to the grocery store to stock up on baby formula and ice cream.

"Tao was a little fussy," Sehun says, remembering not to shrug, a habit that's been surprisingly easy to break, "but when I carry him around he's fine." Yixing leans forward to poke softly at the shadowy bags under Sehun's eyes.

"You look like you need to rest too," he says softly. Sehun nods, but Tao is finally sleeping and he doesn't want to spoil that.

"Why don't you let me have a turn?" Yixing asks, and Sehun, both reluctant and grateful, slips the baby into Yixing's arms. Tao stirs slightly, but doesn't wake. "Go have some ice cream and then lie down," Yixing coaxes him away from Tao. "We'll be okay, I promise." Sehun nods, trailing his finger gently over Tao's soft cheek before heading to the kitchen counter. The ice cream sounds delicious, he's been thinking about it since they ran out yesterday, but right now his favourite flavour is definitely a soft pillow and an hour of uninterrupted sleep.


	5. we lay in bed

_Things will be less stupid in the morning._ That's what Sehun always tells himself, when he's too tired but Tao is crying and he drags himself out of the bed to go and feed him.

"I love you, I really do," he tells his small son, fists balling as his mouth works furiously around the rubber nipple of the bottle. Tao's hair is so soft, slipping through his fingers like silk. Moments that will be lost forever if he doesn't catalog them now. But Sehun is too tired to find the camera, _next time_ , he always tells himself, before walking around, Tao tucked over one shoulder because his precious baby can't fall asleep unless he's being carried. He's been a little colicky lately and Sehun is just hoping that his is his worst, though he doubts it would be that easy.

"Are you okay?" Yixing asks, the front door having been shut carefully with only a small click, to find Sehun curled up on the sofa, Tao still in his arms. Sehun blinks, looks around dazed

"What?" he asks. "Yes?" Yixing furrows his brow in concern and gently lifts Tao out of Sehun's arms; Sehun holds his breath but the gently slumbering baby doesn't stir as Yixing places him carefully in his crib before turning to his boyfriend.

"You need a rest," Yixing says, and Sehun doesn't want to agree but he's so tired. He leans forward and rests his head on Yixing's shoulder.

"I've already called Zhoumi and Victoria and they'll be happy to take care of Tao for a few days while we go on a small vacation," Yixing smiles but Sehun feels almost angry.

"What?" he asks. _You didn't even ask me._

"I know what you're probably thinking," Yixing says, running his hand soothingly over the muscles that have stiffened in Sehun's back. "But would you really have said yes when I was buying the plane tickets and booking the hotel?" Sehun reluctantly shakes his head. "And do you have any doubts about my cousin and his wife's ability to take care of Tao?" Sehun has to ruefully shake his head once again before snuggling further into his boyfriend's neck. Yixing's shoulder is so nice. He could fall asleep here  . . .

Yixing smiles softly as he gathers his drooping boyfriend into his arms and carries him to bed where he carefully tucks him under the covers before pulling the suitcases out to pack. Just then Tao stirs, a soft murmur slipping out of his tiny mouth, and Yixing goes over to pick him up and rock him in the warmth of his arms.

"I love you my precious one," he says. Tao isn't really awake but his tiny fingers bunch into Yixing's t-shirt and Yixing smiles. _I know you love me and your daddy too._ Humming a quiet lullaby, Yixing carries Tao around the house.

When they get to the living room, Yixing stops to admire the new family portrait on the wall, hanging above the sofa. _That's us,_ he tells his dozing baby.   _What a happy family._

Tao is sleeping again so Yixing lays him gently in his crib and, instead of continuing packing, crawls into bed with Sehun, wrapping around him like a warm blanket. Sehun sighs in his sleep and snuggles back into Yixing's warmth.

_I love you too._


	6. walking with you

Delighted laughs follow them out of the bedroom and into the living room, Yixing bouncing Tao on his shoulder and Sehun giggling along but still keeping an eye out because it's his baby. Sure he trusts Yixing with his life and bankbook but a baby is a little more sensitive.

"I'm not going to drop him," Yixing laughs, noticing Sehun's concern, and Sehun feels embarrassed but not enough to stop shadowing the two until Yixing is standing at the picture window overlooking the backyard, Tao sitting in his arms, smudgy fingers running over the glass. Yixing points out a little bunny rabbit crouched under a bush and Tao gurgles, clapping his hands as Sehun watches the two of them, bathed in the warm sunlight. Yixing is just as enthralled with the rabbit as Tao is and it puts a warm feeling into Sehun's heart. Looking back at his pregnancy, he thinks about the times he couldn't sleep, thoughts drifting towards the future and his insecurities. He'd worried about loving Yixing less, but now all he has is more love than before.

A particularly shrill cry of happiness reaches his ears and Sehun steps forward to see Tao burbling ecstatically; he may not be able to talk yet but he definitely makes his thoughts known. Sehun can see Victoria and Zhoumi getting out of their SUV and coming up the walk, and Tao is bouncing so excitedly in Yixing's arms that Sehun is afraid he's going to fall.

"Just let him go," he tells his boyfriend, laughing as Tao sits, frustrated on the ground, staring at the door. Soon enough there's the beeping of the keypad and the door swings open, Zhoumi's voice calling a cheerful, "Hello!" and VIctoria's a half second later — 

Sehun takes his eyes off Tao to dark forward to help Victoria with the heavy box of books she's carrying, and it's only Yixing's excited shouts that have him whipping his head back, startled.

"Tao's crawling!"

It's true; Tao is creeping across the floor towards Zhoumi who, laughing delightedly, scoops him up off the ground and swings him around like an airplane. Tao waves his small arms around in the air and lets himself soar.

"Let's face it Xing," Zhoumi says, grinning as he passes Tao to Victoria who plops him onto her lap and plays pat-a-cake. "Tao crawled for the first time for me." Yixing just bumps his arm goood-naturedly, ducking aside to finish unpacking the box. Sehun sticks out his tongue.

"He just wanted an airplane ride," he smirks. Zhoumi looks at him for a moment and then picks him up and slings him over one shoulder.

"XIng!" he calls, laughing and ignoring Sehun's feet kicking ineffectually at his legs. "Your boyfriend got jealous and wanted an airplane ride too!"

"Put me down!" Sehun complains, but when Yixing appears in the doorway, arms outstretched, he finds himself sinking into them after all.

"Are you sure it was an airplane ride you wanted?" Yixing whispers in Sehun's ear, and he can't help the blush that spreads over his skin.

"We can take Tao for a ride to the park if you two want to have a little down time," Victoria grins, looking up from Tao's happy burbling. Sehun glares at her but nods anyway.

_It's been a while since I had a ride._


End file.
